Baby Joseph’s Birthday! Thinking of his other mom…

January 16, 2015 Joseph is 1!

He likes pancakes:)

Birthday pancake by Daddy:)

My heart soars today with the honor of being his mom. Words don’t exist to describe my love for him.  It’s an honor that I will never take lightly. 
One year ago today, his mother’s suffering heart was further shattered. Broken. One year ago we were unaware of our son’s life or the pain he and his mom were in.  His body struggled.  Horribly.  Her heart broke.  Again. 
Today as I hold Joseph close, my eyes well up with tears of grateful love for him and all he struggled and all he has overcome so far.  As he laughs and reaches for my face, I know that his first mama hurts. This day- his birthday- the wound in her heart throbs. This day hurts deep. Love hurts. Adoption is born out of tragedy.  Pain surrounds it.  It is the result of our imperfect world.  
Dear first mom of our son, know that he will always be your son too. No fluffy lie or court changed birth certificate changes the truth. Your three babies will love u. They are safe and happy and whole as you move forward to grieve and heal. They will know the truth because truth sets us free. Dearest mom, we pray daily for you. I love you like a sister…we are bound forever through our beloved children.  I pray that your heart heals enough for you to meet them while they are little. But if not, I believe they they will know and love you as adults.  Even more than this, I pray that you will know the One who gave His life to adopt me. I pray that the day will come that you will also be adopted by my Jesus. Oh dear first mom, oh how healing His love is!!  Just as your heart broke when your infant children left your presence, God’s heart broke when He gave His son to be the payment for all of my mistakes. And yours too.  Dearest precious mom of three of my beloved children, He who loves you so much that He died for you is our Redeemer and can turn even this into beauty out of ashes. You are loved.  This is a beyond painful chapter- but it is not the end of the story…

1 Comment

  1. Tears…streaming dowb my face right now! What a sweet letter of love to S, A, & J's 1st mama! How wonderfully kind of you…I admire your willingness to continue to love their mama despite the incredible amount of pain, sorrow, tears, sleepless nights, nervousness and heartaches you've endured. I too join with you in prayer for her!
    Thanks for allowing me to walking along this with your family! 🙂


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