Dry heart

I feel dried up. Tonight I sit alone by the fire.  It is late, but anxiety keeps sleep far from reach.  I have anxiety because I know tomorrow awaits with another day of hard behaviors and Im just not adequate to the task. Grief over my inadequate parenting in this season feels like a heavy […]

She’s 18

We blinked. ianna, our first miracle baby, turned 18 yesterday. Our precious, tiny orange-haired, fairy princess is gone. In her place stands my powerful friend with her beautiful heart. What a miracle she was and is. Her wisdom and kindness bless our family and those around her. She’s more of a gift than I could […]

Grief.

As we support and pray for my dad through his recent diagnosis of stage 4 cancer, we were blindsided by the uninvited and cruel nature of life’s brevity once again… My uncle Bruce Howdle, Dad’s youngest brother, healthy and thriving with his wife and adult son, suddenly passed away just over a week ago. I […]

Facing loss

As I sit next to my dad in the doctor’s office waiting area, I distract myself by flipping through photos from yesterday… Alyssa’s eyes catch mine. Her expression speaks volumes to my heart this week. Behind her, smoke fades life from the beautiful mountains that surround communities near Tahoe where my parents live. Cancer. Melanoma. […]