5 years ago today a broken heart spilled grief as her as her body delivered her struggling 5lb treasure- knowing he’d be torn away from her.
We would not hear of him until 5 days later.
We were just preparing to drive out of the COSTCO parking lot. Our 5 kids were finally strapped into their seats when my iPhone rang.. “Mrs Stinson, this is Child Protective Services. We have the newborn brother to your daughter’s in our custody….. Could you foster him?”
Miracles followed and within a few days, months of hoops had been cleared for us to go and get him. We met his emergency placement foster mom in a Baby’s r Us parking lot. As this seasoned and caring foster mom opened her van door, my breath stopped. Daring to reach in and pull back the car seat hood that hid his fragile form, I gasped at my first sight of Jaedon. He was tiny- far too small for a car seat. Tears flowed from my heart as I reached to unfasten and lift his fragile body up and into my arms for the very first time. In that parking lot, we each savored the value of this frighteningly little baby as I held him close to my heart.
His first foster mom looked at our children and dared to speak truth… “Your mom will not sleep much for a long time. This baby is suffering.”
For the next 9 months I held our Precious One around the clock. Nights were spent propped up with him against my chest to prevent him from choking on his vomit. Every feeding was painfully vomited up for months. The acid in his struggling system caused him further suffering. His muscles were painfully tight and postured. Precious One screamed often. One this valuable should never ever have to suffer alone. Face to face, Precious One and I connected our gaze through each traumatizing episode of pain to distract him through the pain. I trembled and cried often- wondering when the hard would get less hard. Friends texted hope and some showed up to love him and our family in that season. Precious Jaedon, holding you for nine months as your body healed was the greatest honor I could have imagined. As you cried and struggled, our tears flowed together. As you continue to powerfully overcome obstacles, our hearts feel proud and amazed. Jaedon, you are a warrior child with a heart of compassion. Dear youngest son of mine, we savor the gift of you and the joy of watching you grown in compassion, power and strength into your unfolding purpose. Five years of victory. You are an overcomer.
Often we are asked about adoption. Often kind people say “Ive thought of foster care or adoption, but Im just not strong enough to do that…”
My mind ponders quietly in those moments. “Neither could I…. Can this person not see how weak I am? Can they not see the depression, anxiety and fear? I hope they don’t miss out…” I ponder this too “ what if we’d not? Would he have suffered alone behind closed doors? Would he have been abused as his daily piercing screams wore an addicted heart down? Countless Jaedon’s suffer alone. The shattered lives of abused or abandoned children are worth the breaking of ours. Can I implore you? Yes! It is HARD! Yes, you will likely be deeply hurt and scarred. But please, if God has put it into your heart to step out in risk for a child, please DONT MISS OUT. Hard times come. But they also go and likely, the treasures found in that place will far surpass anything we could have dreamed of….
Isaiah 45:3 “I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places.”
Don’t miss out on the diamonds that suffer alone.