Soaked. Looking at "what if’s" caused me to slip…

March 18, 2015
Last night grief over our little boy we have yet to meet kept sleep far from me.  At this stage in our journey and life, I’ve seen the unwavering, incredible, miraculous faithfulness of our Shepherd. I have no excuse to fear. But I am weak and last night was filled with fear as my gaze slipped from Him. “What if’s” roared loud..

Mohale is in a beautiful orphanage- rare and filled with love. We’ve been told that 70 other children under the age of six are truly loved there. Yet, Mohale is our son… He belongs in our arms.  My heart is filled with grief today…as two governmental systems and red tape and political tangles prevent Mohale and other children from having parents.  What if it takes more months..years..or never??  What will become of our son who is is soon to legally be returned to orphan status? What if his re-adoption by us doesn’t happen?  Orphaned children do not fare well and many do not make it to adulthood- in any part of the world. Are not loving parents and sisters and brothers across the ocean better than none?  These roaring waves screamed “what if…” into my ears throughout the dark hours of night. My gaze darted from Him and suddenly fear enveloped.  No longer was I “walking on water.”  Finally at 2:30am His hand reached down. The verse below brought some strength. Perhaps it will bring strength to you too in whatever storm you could be facing- perhaps it will help to silence the “what if’s…” so we can walk by faith and not by sight..so that we, can walk on water by keeping our gaze on Him…


Romans 15:13

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Yes, He can be trusted. This I know. 

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