Remembering the day I first held precious Sierra

Today as rare cold and moist California weather whipped through my hair at the gas station pump, this memory flashed into my heart.

Exactly eight years ago this photo was taken as I carried precious, nine month old Sierra through through unusual grey, whipping cool California mist from her foster home to our car.

Love entered our world that day through this tiny stranger who would become our beloved daughter.

She changed who we were.

Looking at my face in the old photo, I can feel again the surreal cloud of “Is this glorious dream really happening?”

Joy was mingled with passionate, protective love and stark pain from awareness of the cruel reality from which this tiny, disheveled angel came. Her nearly weightless body felt precious and vulnerable in my arms.

I wondered “How did I get the honor of even holding her? Is it too good to be true? Will life rip her away and back into the painful place from which she’s come? How will we comfort her?”

I felt afraid and inadequate.

I am inadequate, yet no longer afraid. His grace has carried us and redeemed her heart and my many mistakes.

Today, as rain on my face and the smell of gasoline triggers this now familiar passion for her, I taste again how our hearts broke over her broken heart.

Her broken heart- and millions of waiting broken hearts- are worth the breaking of ours.

Sierra, you changed our world. Love for you has conquered and set us free from fear. You are a treasure beyond imagination. My heart thanks our Shepherd daily for the undeserved gift of you. And watching you grow into the incredible world-changer you already are staggers my mind. You truly are His gift.